Why do We stammer? I know many of you think about this question at least once in a day. Many of you blame the things or persons for your own problem. But have you really thought about it and go deep in your thoughts to really identify the actual reason behind this. Stammering, stuttering, fumbling, blockages and there are so many other words as well. But tell me honestly do you always think why do you stammer? or many of you may have a sibling, relative, neighbor, coworker, friend, or maybe your crush has a stammering issue or rather than the issue I would like to call it as a habit.
I would like to request you to read this article till end because maybe the reasons I am going to explain here could be a reason for your stammering, stuttering, fumbling, or maybe a reason behind your blockage. Here I am going to list the 5 most common reasons for this bad habit of speaking and I will explain to overcome those reasons and get over this bad habit of speaking.
When I interact with my clients most of them say that they have this habit because of their parents, friends, some of them think that it is a genetic problem. But according to my experience, the stammering habit can not be genetic, if a person has a tongue-tie issue then that is another thing. Here I am going to list some most common reasons because of which people get habitual to this thing in their life. The most common reasons are as follows,
1.Copying Others
2. Self-Doubt / Overthinking
3. Hiding Words Or Using Substitute
4. Fear Of Public Speaking
5. Comparing With Others
Copying Others
When we were a child and do mimic any person, our parents think like it is really cute. As a child, we talk while stuttering, which will be considered as cute, but the real problem starts when we continue this habit. When we grow up, we see the people who have this stammering, stuttering, fumbling, or blockage issue and we wonder why they do so.
We start observing them and start coping them. People who thinks like they have stammering because of their parents or term it is a genetical issue, it also get apply on them. As a child, we start copying our parents and our stammering roots are get planted there. Many times we copy to the person we observe most. and along with copy, we do not realize when we get habitual to it. Maybe this is the reason behind your stammering problem.
And the solution for this is to start copying the person you admire the most. Yes, I know what I am talking about. You got this problem by copying the person who stammers and now you just have to do the opposite of this, start copying the person about whom you think is such a good speaker, you can copy to the person who is already an established public speaker or an effective speaker. And make a habit of it. Just observe when they take pauses, pronounce words, and stretch their mouth while uttering the words. Give it a try guys, and let me know in comment box if it helped or not.
Self-Doubt / Overthinking
maybe in your thoughts, you have a self doubt like you can't speak maybe people will laugh, I'm not much capable and you start doubting yourself even when you have not tested yourself against the situation you are facing right there.
overthinking is also related to thinking. Everything is good until it is not overload and it is also applicable to the way we think. Why don't you try this mind trick? When you are thinking about your speaking habits and in your mind, you are almost agreed over that you are, not a good speaker instead of this start to think that "I am a good speaker" "I can speak well", "yes I am an effective speaker". Do try this and in very few days you will notice the changes that happened within you. Just give it a try.
Always remember in life - The way you think your body responds in the same manner. If you think positively, your body will respond positively, but if you are doubting yourself, then your body's energy flow will give you a negative impact. You can not have a positive result with a negative or self doubted thinking.
Hiding Words Or Using Substitute
When you get a block on any word it can be any word, do you replace it with another word or with a substitute? maybe yes. When you first time realized that you are stuck to any word or getting blockage on it, you find an easy way and that is you are hiding and replacing it with another synonym of that word for example if you are getting blockage on a word like Home you are instantly replacing it with synonym like My place. isn't it true?
And gradually it became a habit of your talking. you did not try to overcome that block, you did not try to understand why you are getting that blockage? you want a quick fix solution like we want ready to eat products and you did so. Don't you think at least once you have to think upon that? Let me tell you why it is happening.
You are getting a block on any particular word because you are not opening your mouth properly there. Just try to stretch your mouth a little bit extra, take time, take pauses, if you do not know how to do so then refer to my free video course on stammering and practice E & O. link is here https://bit.ly/AnkushPareFreeStammeringCourse
Fear Of Public Speaking
When you were young, you may have faced the fear when you were speaking on a stage, or giving a speech in front of your whole class where you are just thinking like "everyone is going to eat you up" and you forgot to speak there. That is your bad memory and that is your past also. Every person in their whole life gets a block on some word at least once in their lifetime, they get stuck, they also have a bad experience but they get over this.
Public speaking means talking with 100 or 1000 or 100000 people, is that you think so? then this is not correct definition for public speaking . Speaking in front of 1 unknown person or with 2 or maybe with 5 or 10 people is the same as talking with 100 people. That is public for you, whether it is 1 or 100, it doesn't matter.
Comparing With Others
We all know that every person is unique in their own way, we can not judge a fish by its ability by climbing on a tree or we can not judge a bird's ability by how fast he can swim. But we humans just hear the things and forget to apply them in our real life and we are here follow implementation.
We always compare ourselves with someone else and it may be good choice when it is helping you for your growth. but when we compare with height, money, position, the way they flaunt their abilities and list will go on it will hold you back. Comparing yourself with other where we can't change anything can't help to grow but when you compare yourself with yourself it create positive impact. How you spoke yesterday and how you are speaking now can help you to gain confidence and feel positive .
When you compare your past performance with present and see more progress and this is the best way to create bright future for you
Do not envy anyone in life. each and everyone is perfect in their own way. just try to understand what are your flaws and get over them by practicing daily.
Hope you found this writing helpful for your speaking issue.
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- Ankush Pare (Speaking Coach)